Showing posts with label Break. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Break. Show all posts

When to Break Up: 12 Questions to Help You Make a Right Decision

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Breaking up is hard to do... but better sooner than later!
It is exciting, exhilarating, uplifting when you meet someone who seems to be "the One" - your Soul Mate, your Best Friend, your Dream Romantic Partner and Lover. You feel like everything is possible - True Love, Inner Connection, Long Distance Relationship... You are once again willing to believe that "they" do exist - Men who have Integrity, who are Trustworthy and Caring. You open your Heart to a possibility of being in Love again...
And then something happened... You started noticing some "red flags", some warning signs that should have alarmed you but you've chosen to ignore your intuition, ignore your gut feeling because it's really hard to admit that there is no "happily ever after" with this person... You refuse to follow your guts when "The One" basically told you who he really is via his actions and attitude, not his promises.
How much proof do you need to say "Enough, this relationship doesn't work for me"? What price are you willing to pay for being with a wrong person for too long?
Well, for some women, sadly, it takes a lifetime, for others - divorce, heartbreak, depression, weight gain, financial ruin, etc.
It doesn't have to be that way!! It's better be alone than together with a wrong person, isn't it?
Physical attraction, Chemistry, Body type - these are all important factors, of course, but, unfortunately, NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WORK!
Here are a few questions that you may ask yourself when evaluating you relationship:
Do you feel uplifted, energized and respected by the person you are with?Does being together with this person bring out the best in both of you?Is he loving and caring towards you?Does he support and inspire you to pursue your dreams - personal and professional?Does he act in integrity with his words?Is he financially responsible? Does he like his work/profession and is good at what he does?Is he willing to make an effort to see you/to be with you (e.g. travel the distance to see you, wait for you if you are busy, accommodate your personal circumstances)?Does he respect you enough to have intimate relationship on your terms?Does he prefer an "open relationship" or believes in "excusive only"?Is he respectful toward your religious and political affiliations?Do you have similar values as to roles and responsibilities of a man and a woman in a family setting?Is he mature enough for having a family, having children, providing financial support?
These questions above are important "checks items" that you can use to see if you got a "keeper". Most importantly, pay attention to your FEELINGS when you ask yourself these questions. If you feel that he is NOT "The One" - don't waste your time, your energy, and your life - MOVE ON! Once you KNOW that the foundation for this relationship is weak - LEAVE and DON'T LOOK BACK!
You can leave on your terms - gracefully, respectfully, and fairly. After all, it's nobody's fault, it's just not "your cup of tea"... no need to be angry, bitter or, worse yet, vindictive. As long as you have a strong "Why" for leaving - your reasons are clear and your intentions are fair - ACT with Conviction and Strength. Remember: Clarity

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How to Break Up With Him (Without the Guilt or Energy Drain)

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So you're over him, huh?

Ka-put.

Finito.

An impending breakup is encroaching on the outskirts of your thoughts. Your intuition is telling you - it's time.

The single most important thing you need to know: You have permission to go.

The truth of it? Breakups are hard. Heartbreak is part of the human experience of loving and being loved.

Chances are that both of you know things have been far from ideal lately.

But maybe you sense he still has hope and the idea of slicing his self-esteem in half has you second-guessing "the talk."

Reality check: It's a part of life, and you can't prevent your partner from getting hurt.

Being in a relationship is a choice, and just as you made a choice to begin a relationship, you can make the choice to end it.

There will be hurt feelings. There will be disappointment.

But, really? You're giving them the gift of freedom and the opportunity to find a partner who will celebrate them for who they are - with no amendments and no tweaks.

And what about you? Yeah, you. Remember her?

You deserve to have what you want.

You want: eye contact, smiles, crazy passionate sex and laughter?

You want: emotional support, loyalty and chemistry?

No problem. It's yours.

Right after this breakup.

If the relationship you are in has fallen short it must die in order for a new love to be born.

So how exactly do you break-up with someone quickly, with respect and with the least amount of drama possible?

You literally steal the nerve and then:

1. In private tell your partner you'd like to have a serious conversation. If he asks "what about?" say you have decided that you need to end the relationship. It's best to be straight forward.

Like ripping off a Band-Aid. Do it quick. Get the information on the table.

2. Every expert will tell you to have this conversation in person. And you know what? They're right. If you've been on six or less dates you have a free pass to call instead. Otherwise, suck it up, honor the relationship you had and schedule a date to meet. (Do not just ignore them or disappear--it's rude and bad karma.--you want that?)

3. Hold your ground. It's possible they won't want to break up and they'll attempt to convince you otherwise. There are real reasons why you came to this decision. Stay firm. It's not fair to go back to dating someone just because you feel guilty or "bad for them." This would be a waste of everyone's time and a form of self-sabotage. Choose to embrace the transition and stay focused so you can bypass the muck and mire of flip-flopping.

4. Do they have an important interview next Thursday? Milestone birthday coming up or a parent who is ill? The timing not working in your favor, huh? Feeling a little guiltily about wanting to run for the hills? There is never a good time to leave, and the sooner you do it, the sooner you both can get on with your lives. It's that simple.

5. No Contact. Why do we love violating this rule? There is no quicker way to fall down the rabbit hole of frustration than insisting on trying to create a friendship out of a failed relationship. It's a bad idea and it's hard on everyone. If possible, don't talk about 'staying friends.' If you're meant to cross paths again one day - you will.

Now go get a mani/pedi and relish in your freedom.



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