When it comes to approaching women to get a girlfriend, mindset is everything. Mindset is the way you think, your beliefs, your ideas about women, sex, and relationships, etc. Every guy has gone through a period in his life where he's torn between the player lifestyle and wanting to have a steady girlfriend.
The problem with being a guy is that men are just biologically designed to spread their seed to as many women as possible. This goes way back to caveman days when we had to have lots of healthy sons and daughters for further reproduction. Men are evolutionarily designed to want lots of sex with different partners.
But a life full of meaningless sex is just that - meaningless. If you're a player, you'll often find yourself sleeping alone because you don't want the girls spending the night and getting feelings. It means purposely keeping yourself emotionally distant so that you don't build too much interest and then hurt the girl's feelings.
If you want to get a girlfriend, you have to be able to reconcile these two forces. When you want to commit, you've got to get rid of friction. By friction, I mean the two equal and opposite forces in your life. In this case, it's the friction between being a player and somebody's boyfriend.
If you're going to commit, you have to accept this dual nature as reality. You can't just pretend like it doesn't exist. Your love is no different than any other, and you're sometimes going to have times where you're really attracted to someone other than your girlfriend.
It's completely normal and natural. It doesn't mean you're weird or deviant, or that there's anything wrong with your relationship. She'll sometimes want to be with someone else too. It's a fact and it's biology.
Denial makes this friction much worse. The more you try to deny it, the more attention you draw to it. It can turn into serious anxiety, just like approach anxiety. You know how if you deny your approach anxiety, it just gets worse. This is the same, so it's important to admit that this friction exists.
When lots of guys get into relationships, they think their love is somehow different. They don't understand that this is a natural fact and something to be accepted. But before you start approaching women to find a girlfriend, you've got to decide that you're ready to ditch the player lifestyle and settle down with one girl for the long haul.
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