BySeth A Smith
How to approach a girl you do not know. This is a tough subject for most guys so don't feel bad if you have issues approaching a complete stranger in public, because It's one of the most uncomfortable aspects in meeting a woman. Ironically it's the FIRST step in meeting a woman. Go figure. Think about how many times have you been out at a book store, shopping mall or something of the sort, and passed up a perfectly good opportunity to walk up to a pretty girl. If you are in any way like me, you've probably passed up thousands of good opportunities, and REGRETTED it. I've made countless mistakes over the years in my approaches that have finally led me to the success with approaching women I have today.
Fortunately for you - You get the positives of my past experiences with approaching women. What does that mean? It means I've done all of the grunt work,faced all of the rejection, tested all of the methods to see what works and does not work, and I've landed on the easiest possible approach to women that out there.
Before I give you details on the approach itself, it's only fair you understand the back end of the approach. You need to understand WHY it works so well, and gain an understanding of what you are really doing when you "approach" a girl.
Most guys fail with approaching a woman, because they have an obscured preconceived notion of what an approach really is. When you see a woman you want to approach there are a few things that are running through your head. One of them is the expectation of the interaction. Most guys expect the approach to fail. They expect to get rejected due to reasons they do not know exist yet such as:
1. She probably has a boyfriend 2. She will probably say no 3. I'm not her type
To sum up what I'm saying- Most guys approach women, and set themselves up for failure before they even say "hello" by creating false scenarios and outcomes in their head that don't even exist. A big part of this is because of the underlying pressure associated with the expectation to succeed mixed with the fear of failure.
What has helped me the most, is learning to put things such as approaching women into a unique perspective. When you approach a woman, it shouldn't be something to be feared, because approaching a woman is not necessarily always about getting her to go on a date with you. It can be as simple as adding a new friend to your social circle to talk to and hang out with from time to time. I sometimes tell women I approach just that: " I'm just looking to make new friends... etc" The more you get in the habit of establishing the proper mindset, the easier it will be for you to start approaching.
The approach
The absolute easiest way to approach women is to approach her indirectly. To approach her indirectly is to ask her about where she got her jacket from, or to ask her where to closest Starbucks is, or even as simple as asking her how her day is going. Approaching a woman does not need to be about going in and getting laid, or getting a date, and when you display to a woman that you are not just after sex then she is more inclined to want to continue interacting with you on a deeper level.
When you approach a woman, you have this pre-set mindset that tells you that you have to get her number so you can start dating, which invariably leads to getting her into bed. That should not be the case. If all you think about is getting her into bed, or getting her to go on a date with you, you are setting yourself up for failure already. Having this mindset makes the approach a lot scarier than it really is. Next time you see a girl you want to approach, try thinking of it as making a new friend. Remember that yes, you would like to date her or even sleep with her, but if you come at her directly with that intention in mind you are most likely going to fail.
The approach is simply your gateway to starting a new conversation. So come at her in a manner that won't scare or fend her off. The best way, as I have said over and over, is indirectly. Here are a few examples of indirect approaches:
What book is that you're reading? ( I used this once on a train ride from San Francisco to LA on a girl who claimed to be "lesbian". I ended up dating the her for about 2 months. Found out She lived only 10 miles from me) Do you know where I can find (store) I'm kind of lost (In a clothing store) - How does this look on me? -- if she says something good-- "Hitting on me? Nice"... (laugh a little) What kind of dog is that?
Guys. The approaches above are not pick up lines. What I'm trying to drive into your head is that these are every day situation based approaches. They work so well, because there is no harm in the approach. You're simply bring up something that is relevant to the current situation or environment. That's how easy it is to approach a woman. You may choose to approach her directly if you wish. I do that myself sometimes, but I feel a little out of my element when I do so. At least with situation-type approaches I have the freedom to incorporate my personality. It's more natural, and women appreciate that a lot more, trust me. Now you may be wondering how to turn your friendly indirect approach into getting her phone number, and eventually getting her into bed. Check back next week for a update on how to do just that.
-Seth Smith
http://www.counterseduction.com
Seth Smith is the author of CounterSeduction.com; a site designed to help men all over the world attract women using noting more than their God-Given power tool- their mind. He is well known for his willingness to help men on a one-on-one basis for no charge unlike most dating gurus out there.
Seth grew up in the San Francisco Bay area. At the Age of 20 He made his move to Los Angeles to start a new life away from home. Within his first 3 years of living in Los Angeles, He found his niche for helping men get better with women. Through his website he has reached out to many men in need of getting better with their love life with supreme success. Keep your eyes out for Seth as an up and coming Love and Dating Coach.
