Learn the Successful Dating Tips

This week whilst organising a date for a new member through the personal matchmaking service, he asked me why separate bills would be given by the venue on the date. I advised him, it was so that neither party felt uncomfortable, or obligated when the bill arrived. But he insisted that I call up the venue and ask them not to do this as he would prefer to the pay the bill himself. I commented on how chivalrous that was of him, his response "I wouldn't have it any other way and would feel extremely uncomfortable letting a woman contribute". This got me thinking that in a day and age of equality and effectively meeting strangers through dating agencies, online dating sites and also via dating events, what's the etiquette when it comes to paying the bill on the first date? Should the man pay? Should the woman pay? Or should you go dutch?
I decided to ask both male and female Tantric Club members for their opinions. Starting with the ladies...
According to Shilpa, when a man asks you out for dinner on a second or third date and does not pick up the tab, she interprets this as a man who can be somewhat selfish and is demonstrating that whilst he can manage his own expenses, he wouldn't necessarily be able to provide for her.
Trusha believes that it is fair to pay her half on a first date, although it is nice when a guy insists on paying. She always offers and if the guy declines, she gracefully accepts, unless she feels that he is being insincere. In which case, she will insist on paying her half so that she does not feel any obligation towards him.
"The last two dates that I have been on, I've picked the tab up!" Seema recently went on two dates set-up by her family, where both guys apparently had forgotten their wallets. "Shockingly, neither of these guys felt embarrassed, or were over apologetic". She met the first guy after work in town for a drink. "Considering that he had been at work all day, surely he would have noticed that he did not have his wallet at lunch time, and had the good sense to at least borrow some money from a colleague". The second guy, when the bill arrived, the waiter placed it in front of him. Seema got her purse out and asked how much she owed with the intention of going halves, he then causally piped up that he had forgotten his wallet so she would need to pay the full bill. Not surprisingly, Seema has asked her mother to lay off the family introductions for a while.
"I gauge how much a guy likes me based on whether he pays the bill on the first date" that's according to Tina. She believes that if a guy does pay the bill then it's likely that he is interested and will ask her to go on a second date.
For Reena, all the long term relationships that she has had, the men have always paid for the first date and the first dinner. "I don't know if this is sheer coincidence but I certainly think that it tells you a lot about a guy's characteristics. For me, when a guy pays on the first date it tells me that he is chivalrous, considerate and knows how to treat a lady. There are a lot of men out there who talk the talk about knowing how to treat a woman but unfortunately, they fail to walk the walk! Let me clarify, I'm not a gold digger and certainly after a guy has made an effort and paid for the first date and dinner, I will reciprocate by organising and paying for the next one. To me, if he shows generosity from the outset, he is likely to be generous with his time and to nurturing a future relationship, you tell me, which woman doesn't want a man like that?"
Over to the men...
According to Hardip, his decision to pay differs according to the circumstances. He is more likely to pick up the tab if he thinks that the date went well and as a means of further impressing his date. However, if he feels that there is unlikely to be a second date, or is neutral about the experience, he will retreat to his fallback position of splitting the bill in an equitable and fair manner. Hardip also believes that the onus should not be on a man to pay for the bill on a first date, especially if he in effect is meeting someone for the first time. He is also cautious of not wanting to cause offence by insisting on paying the full bill, in his own words "it can be seen to be presumptuous as a female may wish to pay her own way. There's no reason to assume she wants a 'stranger' in effect to pay for her portion of the bill".
"Being an old fashioned type of guy when it comes to dating I have no issue in paying. I pay all of the time without exception. I think however, it should be customary for the lady to offer to contribute". Hemant also adds that given that we live in an era of online dating, where you are regularly meeting strangers, as a guideline for anyone who is unsure, you should go dutch on the first 2 dates. But if there is a third date then the man should pay as at this point there is genuine interest to pursue things further.
Nilesh believes that the man should always pay if he is asking a woman out, as it is the gentlemanly thing to do. He also feels that whilst a couple are in the dating phase, it is the guy who decides where the relationship is going, essentially whether to commit, or not and for this privilege it's only fair that he pays. Mitesh, in part shares this sentiment "I would like to think that if I have asked a lady out for dinner then it's only right that I would foot the bill. However, if both of us have decided together to go out for a meal, then depending on how the evening and meal has gone, I would consider the following two options:
1. If it went well and I enjoyed the company I would definitely offer to pay the bill.
2.If we both were under the impression that we had a good evening but there was no chance of meeting again then I am hoping that we would go halves."

Use your Magical Dating 8 Ball to get the answers you want in 3 Easy Steps.
Are you single, dating and confused? Do you ever wonder: Should I call him or send another text? Oh my gosh, he didn't call, or he didn't show up. Maybe he's in traffic, or ran out of gas. Maybe he's talking to a woman, Gasp! Maybe he's hurt. Is he in a coma? Does he need me? You don't know if you feel worried, sad or mad. It's so downright confusing! Would you like more clarity?
Do you wish there was a magic wand you could wave and it would just tell you what to do?
Well there is and it's inside of you right now. You just need a few simple tools to transform your all knowing self into that magic 8 ball you've always wanted.
The steps you need to take are just about as simple as shaking one of those round, shiny, black, future telling 8 balls, and it has been ready for use since you were born. You've just gotta shake yourself up to use it. It's called woman's intuition. That's right. Intuition.
Everything you need to know is directly inside of you. You know you've got it, but do you know how to use it? If you don't feel in tune, you might have some problems that trickle out and cause more problems.
Luckily, there are only 3 problems if you're not in tune:
You can't hear it (or you think you can't hear it)You can't hear it (or you think you can't hear it)When you do hear it, your mind talks so loud it drowns it out
Well, only 3 problems, that's pretty good. We can fix that!
I've learned to tap in to that Magic Dating 8 Ball inside of me, and I want to show you how to tune in and turn it up!. It's really simple.
Imagine you are one of those Magic 8 Balls with 3 answers
NO! NO! NO!MaybeYES! YES! YES!
You can easily learn to tune in to these 3 answers.
Center yourself with a couple of breaths. Think of something you really dislike. It could be bologna sandwiches, someone who was mean to you, heavy metal, or fingernails going down a chalkboard. Something that gives you a big NO! NO! NO!
Notice the sensations in your back. This is where most of the kundalini energy will rise. So if it's something that doesn't give you pleasure, the energy will shift and go down back into the earth. This is where we DO NOT want to go. The earth has enough going on already. We want this energy to shift upward, because we want to raise our vibration and do what makes our spirit feel good. Because it's what is good for us.
Stay centered and keep breathing. Now think of something else. I like the idea of a boring grey wall. It won't hurt you, but it doesn't really bring you joy either. This is your grey area of MAYBE. You can take it or leave it. This is the sensation of the feeling in your spine staying still. Not going up. Not going down. It's just kind of there. You can tune into this sensation. It may rest in your stomach, your head or the center of your back. Just pay attention to your body and your feelings.
Now you are going to shift the energy up in a big way!
Think of something you really like. Something that when you flip that 8 ball it will give you a BIG BIG BIG YES! YES! YES! Let's keep it simple. Let's imagine your favorite outfit or dress. You know the one. When you wear it, you feel like a million bucks. You feel like a super sexy! When you wear this piece you know you're gonna turn heads. Now imagine the eight ball, and make it whatever color you like. Whatever brings you pleasure and makes you feel really good.
This 8 ball is a big one and when you put on that dress it actually will talk to you. It will say YES! YES! YES! You can read the magic 8 ball YES! Your body will speak to you. YES! And your body will feel this energy going up. YES! Keep the passion up in your body for this. Imagine your favorite dress saying YES! To you. Imagine this YES! traveling up your spine. Feel the energy rise. Because this is how the energy will flow in your body when it's a good positive feeling, and is healthy for you.
Pay attention to the energy in your spine because this is the central channel and it is way to feel the energy travel there. You can use this technique to ask yourself any question. Take 3 deep breaths and get your body into the habit of being centered and relaxed. When it's a wishy-washy maybe, you could go either way, and it probably won't hurt you if you go forward with your question or not.
If you feel the energy pulling downward toward the earth, don't do it. I actually tested this today. I parked in a permit parking zone thinking I could get away with it, my brain told me I could, and the energy in my spine told me to move the car. But my brain wanted to make sure what my body was telling me was right. The energy was right, as usual! I went back to my car in a bout 15 minutes with $20 parking ticket. I knew it! But my brain wanted to do this experiment, and it cost me 20 bucks. I guess that's a pretty small price to pay to make sure my intuition is on.
When you're single and dating this is a great tool to use, because it is always right on. You can ask yourself these types of questions.
Should I stay focused on what I'm doing?Should I call him and interrupt my flow?Should I call him right away?Should I go out with him last minute?
Your body will not lie to you. Your brain might want to argue, but you've got to make sure you listen to the wise advice. The advice from your magic 8 ball and not your ego.
When you got it. You got it. And we all got it, but you have to listen when it speaks in its subtle voice. Trust this energy flow in your body. It is connected to source and will not lead you astray. This energy and way you feel is your compass that will lead you in the right direction. The right direction is up toward the light, not the darkness. This magic 8 ball inside of you will not let you down, just make sure you listen to what it has to say.
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ByJessica A Parker
Find out if you're ready to share turkey and sprouts with your new dating partner
When you're in a new relationship, spending Christmas together is a big deal. It's a way of telling everyone - including your new dating partner - that you reckon they're a keeper. Take this step too soon, and you risk looking over-keen and scaring your new partner away.
Are you and your new other half ready to share your mum's Brussels sprouts? Take our Christmas dating quiz to find out.
1. It's present-buying time. How much cash will you spend on your dating partner?
a. Two weeks' wages and a heck of a lot of effort.
b. A few days' wages.
c. Twenty quid.
2. Which of the following would you be most likely to buy for them?
a. An iPod containing their entire treasured vinyl record collection, painstakingly converted by you in secret.
b. A swanky travel bag for the holiday they're planning with their mates.
c. A bottle of vodka and a Jimmy Carr DVD.
3. What's your dating partner most likely to buy for you?
a. A pricey vintage watch, in exactly the style you love.
b. A weekend break in Amsterdam - your first trip together.
c. A bottle of vodka and a Jimmy Carr DVD.
4. When did you two first start dating?
a. Last spring.
b. Late summer.
c. Your mate's Christmas party.
5. What do your friends think of your dating partner?
a. They think you're perfect for each other - even though your loved-up state means that you've seen less of your mates lately.
b. They haven't formed much of an opinion, but they're glad you've found someone.
c. You haven't asked them.
6. What makes you most nervous about taking your new squeeze home for Christmas?
a. They'll get on so well with your old mum that they'll never want to leave.
b. Your dad will embarrass you.
c. They'll dump you for moving too fast.
7. What did your dating partner do last Christmas?
a. Spent it with his or her own parents.
b. Had some friends over to their flat.
c. How would you know?
8. If you two were staying over together at your parents' place, how would sleeping arrangements be handled?
a. Your mum would automatically give you both the spare double room.
b. You wouldn't stay over. You'd both head back to your place after dinner, or stay at the Travel Tavern down the road.
c. You'd stay, while your boyfriend/girlfriend would head home.
9. How would you describe your dating compatibility?
a. You're in love. You're soulmates.
b. You agree on the main issues of life, but you're still finding out about each other.
c. You have great sex.
10. Where do you see yourselves this time next year?
a. Alone together in your own shared place. Maybe do dinner for friends and family on Boxing Day.
b. On holiday together, assuming all goes well.
c. No idea. It's a bit much to imagine that you'll still be dating.
11. You're slumped alone watching TV in your veg out clothes, eating ice-cream from the tub. If your lover could see you now...
a. They'd be doing the same.
b. It wouldn't match the ever-gorgeous picture of you in their head.
c. Argh! Perish the thought.
12. You're a smoker, and your dating partner has given up. What's their attitude towards your habit?
a. They care about your health and want to help you quit. They give up crisps and sweets to show moral support.
b. They'd never dream of making you give up.
c. They've never really thought about it.
What your answers mean...
Mostly A: About time, too!
You sound like you've been dating for years, not just months. Spending Christmas together will top off a great year for you both, whether you spend it at your parents', their parents', or your own place.
Just take care that you're not getting too cosy too fast. Savour the getting-to-know-you stage before you get too used to sharing the washing up.
Mostly B: Spend Christmas together - but respect their space
You're still in the lust stage. You're not terribly fussed about showing him or her off to Mum and Dad, but you'd be frustrated and bored silly if you spent Christmas apart.
That said, don't railroad your dating partner into a joint Christmas, especially at your parents' place. Your new lover may get cold sweats (and cold feet) at the thought of meeting your mum, let alone being nice about her food.
Mostly C: Don't even think about it
Your relationship is far too new for you to be doing the Christmas Day thing together. Don't drag them to your mum's for the day until you've been dating for longer and your relationship is on steadier ground.
Meet up for dinner or a few drinks, or talk on the phone if distance is an issue. If you find yourselves pining for each other, you can always get together for New Year's Eve.
match.com is the UK's best known dating site. Hundreds of thousands of relationships have started thanks to us and we have one simple mission: to help people find love.